sunshine definitely helps
Today has been so lovely and sunny! It's friday - the day after my injection - and the sunshine makes such a difference to how I experience the day. After all of those long dark cold fridays curled up in front of the fire with a blanket, hot water bottle and tv on. Now on sunny fridays I wander slowly round the house and garden in light clothes and bare feet, watering the plants, weeding, watching the birds, having a nap - so much better. Have got suncream factors 8 and 20 now so no more sunburn either!
Injection 36 last night - so (only?) 12 more to go. I will be happier when I at last reach single figures. I remember telling my GP I was on week 18, with 30 more weeks to go, and she did this sharp intake of breath. Yeah, it seemed pretty blummin unachievable at the time.
My mum and her partner left today, they have been staying with me for the last week or so as my partner is working away. I am a pain in the bum, and they both are saintly in their tolerance of, and generosity towards me. I think whilst I have managed to keep hold of some of my personality through this, boy am I different in other ways. It is those people who are closest to me who probably find this change most difficult to live with. I feel quite shut-down, flat and totally intolerant of other people. I don't really want to do anything - I'm happy just to wander round the village, visit the allotments with my vegetable peelings etc for composting, and have a bit of a chat to whoever I meet. But I need to be shoe-horned out of the village. I am going with this state of mind and accepting that it's just the way it is at the moment.
I am however trying to think about my eventual reintegration into society - I have started to read work stuff again, and have been watching things like 'house of tiny tearaways' in an attempt to keep my hand in! Yeah ok maybe not the best way but at least I'm doing something!
Hospital on tuesday - I haven't been for 6 weeks now, so it will be interesting to see how my bloods are doing on the higher dose of ribavirin. Fingers crossed I can hang on in there til I finish.
Well, the steamed potatoes are cooked - am having them with tabouleh, salad, tomato/onion/sultana salsa, with a chocolate eclair for afters (just to absorb the ribavirin more effectively you understand!) - so off to eat.
posted by lu @ 6:16 PM
5 Comments:
Good to hear you're looking to the future Lu - and I agree about the sun. I think it's a matter of comfort and the chance to move at a slow, easy pace and take in surroundings.
Certainly, the chance to get out, do things when you feel like it and not worry about having to get changed when you get home and 'thaw out' makes life so much easier!
Hi Lu,
Dinner sounds wonderful (all of it, perhaps will particular emphasis on the eclair!), you sound wonderful and 12 weeks is incredible! You have completed 3/4 of treatment.
Agree that those who know us the best might see the changes most clearly. They also may be the most likely to accept our evolution. We are still who we are, but perhaps more developed and fuller people for experiencing this. We grow and change with all things in life, including this.
Enjoy the warmth, the garden, the birds - the world! Sue
p.s. What is "house of tiny tearaways"?
Hi Nick
Yes, comfort of the sunshine and not having to rush everywhere wrapped up with your chin tucked into your chest! The sun just brings everything to life doesn't it. My partner says he thinks he's really a reptile, and doesn't unfurl til summer time!
Take it easy
Lu
Hi Ron
Your meeting does sound a bit boring - altho I know that the data sharing issue is important, organisational matters can be very tedious. Especially when ultimately you don't have any control over them! We have been talking about using a computerised system - I can't even remember what its called but think it's a womans name - but we just talk and talk and nothing happens anyway. That's the NHS for you. Or any big organisation I suppose. There are always so many changes going to and fro, I tend to keep my head down and just wait for someone to tell me what's going to happen! That's cynicism and being ground down by the system for you!
Yes the simple things in life are much more interesting. I have a male great spotted woodpecker almost constantly feeding from our nuts at the moment - must be feeding his young. I have 3 seed feeders and 2 nut feeders so plenty for the little birds too. Baby great tits visiting the nuts right next to our window - they are truly beautiful with their soft yellow downyness! And still a bit clumsy! I'm glad you're doing some painting again - my partner also paints and I know how much enjoyment he gets from sitting down with a canvas, his paints and brushes. What are you painting?
Hope the next couple of days go well for you, I know it's your interferon night tonight so have a good night rest and a peaceful day tomorrow
Lu
Hi Sue
House of Tiny Tearaways - great title ay? It's this programme where parents who are struggling to manage the behaviour of their small children (eg relationship difficulties, aggression, tantrums, sleep problems, feeding problems etc) go and live in this specially designed house for 6 days. They are watched by the clinical psychologist who designs interventions, and supports them in implementing change. There are loads more of these things on TV here at the moment - which will make my job a lot easier as hopefully parents will have seen behavioural principles in action so they aren't so alien when I start talking about them. Watching such TV is useful as it reassures me that I haven't forgotten everything about work!
Yes, we do grow through this (though at times this is into a fussy pest!) - I have faith that once I am no longer under the influence of the drugs, I will be a bit less pesky! Maybe I could do with a spell in the house of tiny tearaways myself...
Have a good week Sue
Lu
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